[Review] Of Montreal, Janelle Monae @ Variety Playhouse (11/7/10)

Hello, my name is Glenda Harris, and I am writing this in the hopes of saving young people from the horrors that await them in the guise of “fun dance-oriented indie pop”. My son, Sam, was listening to the talented Justin Bieber on his Pandora radio account. Unfortunately, it seems as if the devil was picking the songs. The next song that Satan chose was titled “Enemy Gene” by Of Montreal. Well after he begged and pleaded I agreed to accompany him to see this “Of Montreal” at the Variety Playhouse.

We arrived about halfway through the opening act, Janelle Monae. Her voice was like that of an angel, but right away I knew something wasn’t quite right. Well, as it turns out, she is an obvious communist. One of her catchiest tunes is even titled “Cold War.” I noticed with horror that the crowd went crazy over this Marxist ballad.

Her next song, “Tight-rope”, was so catchy that I myself would have found it impossible not to dance, were it not for the pocket bible weighing my feet down. Her music is a strangely enticing blend of R&B, soul, and hip-hop. I’m sure she designed it that way so that young folks will accept her evil agenda. Several times during her set I found myself wondering if that socialist, Obama, was somehow behind this.

Near the end of her set she was joined by a half-naked homosexual monstrosity who sang a song titled “Make the Bus” with her. I had to put my hands over little Sam’s eyes several times due to the overtly provocative dancing on stage. When the song was over I was relieved to know that I would not have to see the male performer again. She also did something unconventional: she had a canvas brought to the stage in order to paint a picture while performing. I would have liked this but the picture was just wretched. It consisted of black lines and random colors making a face with the words “I love you” at the top to hide her message of hate.

During the break between sets I noticed that almost all the people in the venue were total deadbeat losers. They looked like the worst kind of young people: the kind who have not accepted Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior. The environment was much too hostile for me to attempt to witness to them, however. I can’t be sure but I think I smelled reefer throughout the entire show. These people are exactly who Glenn Beck is trying to save. I say he’s too late with this crowd. These kids wouldn’t have known the difference between traditional family values and a crack pipe.

Finally, it was time for Of Montreal to come on stage. Apparently, Of Montreal is known for their garish set pieces and costume design. I was not aware of this, having read a review of their show at the 40 watt in September which kicked off this tour. That show included very few costume changes by Kevin Barnes and none of the theatrics. The audience was greeted by two eight foot tall men wearing fish heads with gas masks who were carrying shotguns while walking slowly around the stage. I should have bolted immediately, yet by this point I couldn’t take my eyes off the spectacle before me. Kevin Barnes is supposedly married, but do not let that fool you into thinking he is in anyway a wholesome family role model. His marriage is clearly a sham. I have never seen a more homosexual male in my life. I cannot express my outrage at the realization that the singer for Of Montreal was the very same monstrosity who sang the duet with Janelle Monae. My arm fell asleep no less than ten times while covering poor Sam’s eyes during their set. Kevin Barnes is the indie rock equivalent to The Karate Kid as far as furthering the gay agenda goes. About halfway through the set he all but made love to three other people in pig suits. I was mortified to see that Sam was peeking through my fingers and was unable to suppress an erection. I will have to live with the horror that a homo-erotic sex sequence featuring possible elements of bestiality, and not his wedding night, is how my child learned about sex.

The crowd was mostly well behaved when the band performed any of their new False Priest songs, but was downright horrible whenever they played any older material. Most of the older material was off of their Hissing Fauna album. During these songs, everybody would dance and jump and sing along with twice the energy. If you have not heard their music, the best way I can describe it is psychedelic/funk/pop. The band had incredible stage presence, and performed all the songs quite well. After discerning some of the lyrics I had what my doctor is trying to call a complete nervous breakdown after discovering that there was no way in which I could shield both Sam’s eyes and ears at the same time. The lyrics are all atrocious odes to sexual promiscuity and a sin-filled lifestyle. This show felt like having my soul doused by fire then spit on and made to watch gay actions again and again. The worst part, by far, was the encore song: A cover of Michael Jackson’s song, “Thriller”. The only thing worse than a pedophile’s song is that song being covered by Kevin Barnes. Not only did it sound like the end of innocence, it was the corrupt-homo end of innocence.

I have filed a class action lawsuit against Pandora radio and sent my son to a Bible oriented reform school. I fear that even this will not repair the damage. I hope that young people will heed my warnings and stay far away from this flamboyant fag-man masquerading as a musician. This music will lead listeners straight to hell. God Bless you all.

• Posted by Joe Ennis on November 18, 2010 at 4:24 pm
• Tags: Comedy, Janelle Monae, Of Montreal, Variety Playhouse
  
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[Video] Of Montreal: “Coquet Coquette”

Of Montreal
“Coquet Coquette”
From False Priest (due out September 14)
Directed by Jason Miller

• Posted by Davy Minor on August 18, 2010 at 6:52 pm
• Tags: Of Montreal
  
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Ohmpark Mixtape #15: Forever Summer

All photos by Adrienne Claire Darnell. Check out her awesome blog here.

Emeralds : “Candy Shoppe”
Tame Impala : “Alter Ego”
Here We Go Magic : “Casual”
Local Natives : “Wide Eyes”
Beach House : “10 Mile Stereo”
Crystal Castles : “Celestica”
Broken Social Scene : “All To All”
Wolf Parade : “Ghost Pressure”
This Piano Plays Itself : “Where We Lived”
Best Coast : “Boyfriend”
Phantogram : “Mouthful Of Diamonds”
Of Montreal : “Coquet Coquette”
CocoRosie : “Lemonade”

• Posted by Davy Minor on July 2, 2010 at 2:05 am
• Tags: Beach House, Best Coast, Broken Social Scene, CocoRosie, Crystal Castles, Emeralds, Here We Go Magic, Local Natives, Mixtape, Of Montreal, Phantogram, Tame Impala, This Piano Plays itself, Wolf Parade
  
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Ohmpark’s Top 10 Music Videos of 2009

Before I begin awarding the sounds of 2009, I wanted to give a little props to the best eye-candy I’ve seen. These ten videos clearly stood out to me above the rest of this year’s offerings. They are definitely all a million times better than that garbage from Beyonce and Taylor Swift. So, enjoy:

10. Of Montreal: “An Eluardian Instance”

This video has just got a really nice, fun vibe to it. The special effects are utilized just right and the whole thing matches up with the music beautifully.

9. Untied States: “Unsilvered Mirrors”

There are so many neat little video tricks in this one and the whole thing captures the mood of the song expertly. I love when it snaps into the end section with the band playing.

8. St. Vincent: “The Strangers” Lake Fever Session

This video wins solely on the rarity of capturing St. Vincent playing an acoustic, stripped down version of one of the year’s best songs. Totally gorgeous.

7. The Flaming Lips: “Watching the Planets”

Yeasayer tried their best to up the ante on nudity with their recent experimental video, but having a clothing-less mob feeding a naked Wayne Coyne to a vagina monster pretty much trumps anything. Warning, it’s very NSFW.

6. Mastodon: “Divinations”

I loved Mastodon‘s science fiction video for “Oblivion” too, but this one got the edge due to how brutal Brent Hinds is as a caveman.

5. Clues: “You Have My Eyes Now”

This one is just simply hilarious.

4. Grizzly Bear: “Ready, Able”

Grizzly Bear have a ton of amazing videos this year, both official and fan made. But this weird claymation vid is easily my favourite.

3. Here We Go Magic: “Fangela” Black Cab Session

Taking bands and having them perform stripped down versions of their songs in various settings is all the rage these days, and one of the best in the business right now are the Black Cab Sessions. This version of “Fangela” is just pure magic.

Here we go magic from Black Cab Sessions on Vimeo.

2. Bibio: “Top Soil”

Bibio has such a distinct sound, and this video matches his audio style with the perfect visual enhancements.

1. Thy Mighty Contract: “Conjugal Freelance”

I laugh my ass off every time I watch this. I absolutely love everything about this video and it was an easy choice for my best of the year.