[Review] Of Montreal, Janelle Monae @ Variety Playhouse (11/7/10)

Hello, my name is Glenda Harris, and I am writing this in the hopes of saving young people from the horrors that await them in the guise of “fun dance-oriented indie pop”. My son, Sam, was listening to the talented Justin Bieber on his Pandora radio account. Unfortunately, it seems as if the devil was picking the songs. The next song that Satan chose was titled “Enemy Gene” by Of Montreal. Well after he begged and pleaded I agreed to accompany him to see this “Of Montreal” at the Variety Playhouse.

We arrived about halfway through the opening act, Janelle Monae. Her voice was like that of an angel, but right away I knew something wasn’t quite right. Well, as it turns out, she is an obvious communist. One of her catchiest tunes is even titled “Cold War.” I noticed with horror that the crowd went crazy over this Marxist ballad.

Her next song, “Tight-rope”, was so catchy that I myself would have found it impossible not to dance, were it not for the pocket bible weighing my feet down. Her music is a strangely enticing blend of R&B, soul, and hip-hop. I’m sure she designed it that way so that young folks will accept her evil agenda. Several times during her set I found myself wondering if that socialist, Obama, was somehow behind this.

Near the end of her set she was joined by a half-naked homosexual monstrosity who sang a song titled “Make the Bus” with her. I had to put my hands over little Sam’s eyes several times due to the overtly provocative dancing on stage. When the song was over I was relieved to know that I would not have to see the male performer again. She also did something unconventional: she had a canvas brought to the stage in order to paint a picture while performing. I would have liked this but the picture was just wretched. It consisted of black lines and random colors making a face with the words “I love you” at the top to hide her message of hate.

During the break between sets I noticed that almost all the people in the venue were total deadbeat losers. They looked like the worst kind of young people: the kind who have not accepted Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior. The environment was much too hostile for me to attempt to witness to them, however. I can’t be sure but I think I smelled reefer throughout the entire show. These people are exactly who Glenn Beck is trying to save. I say he’s too late with this crowd. These kids wouldn’t have known the difference between traditional family values and a crack pipe.

Finally, it was time for Of Montreal to come on stage. Apparently, Of Montreal is known for their garish set pieces and costume design. I was not aware of this, having read a review of their show at the 40 watt in September which kicked off this tour. That show included very few costume changes by Kevin Barnes and none of the theatrics. The audience was greeted by two eight foot tall men wearing fish heads with gas masks who were carrying shotguns while walking slowly around the stage. I should have bolted immediately, yet by this point I couldn’t take my eyes off the spectacle before me. Kevin Barnes is supposedly married, but do not let that fool you into thinking he is in anyway a wholesome family role model. His marriage is clearly a sham. I have never seen a more homosexual male in my life. I cannot express my outrage at the realization that the singer for Of Montreal was the very same monstrosity who sang the duet with Janelle Monae. My arm fell asleep no less than ten times while covering poor Sam’s eyes during their set. Kevin Barnes is the indie rock equivalent to The Karate Kid as far as furthering the gay agenda goes. About halfway through the set he all but made love to three other people in pig suits. I was mortified to see that Sam was peeking through my fingers and was unable to suppress an erection. I will have to live with the horror that a homo-erotic sex sequence featuring possible elements of bestiality, and not his wedding night, is how my child learned about sex.

The crowd was mostly well behaved when the band performed any of their new False Priest songs, but was downright horrible whenever they played any older material. Most of the older material was off of their Hissing Fauna album. During these songs, everybody would dance and jump and sing along with twice the energy. If you have not heard their music, the best way I can describe it is psychedelic/funk/pop. The band had incredible stage presence, and performed all the songs quite well. After discerning some of the lyrics I had what my doctor is trying to call a complete nervous breakdown after discovering that there was no way in which I could shield both Sam’s eyes and ears at the same time. The lyrics are all atrocious odes to sexual promiscuity and a sin-filled lifestyle. This show felt like having my soul doused by fire then spit on and made to watch gay actions again and again. The worst part, by far, was the encore song: A cover of Michael Jackson’s song, “Thriller”. The only thing worse than a pedophile’s song is that song being covered by Kevin Barnes. Not only did it sound like the end of innocence, it was the corrupt-homo end of innocence.

I have filed a class action lawsuit against Pandora radio and sent my son to a Bible oriented reform school. I fear that even this will not repair the damage. I hope that young people will heed my warnings and stay far away from this flamboyant fag-man masquerading as a musician. This music will lead listeners straight to hell. God Bless you all.

Photos: Grupo Fantasma, Batata Doce @ Variety Playhouse (7/31/09)

Batata Doce:


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Live Review And Photos: Sonic Youth, The Entrance Band at The Variety Playhouse in Atlanta, GA (07/13/09)

All Photos by Clint Miller

For the month of July Davy is off on the This Piano Plays Itself tour so Ohmpark has decided to enlist myself to keep you updated on what’s happening in the ATL. I was asked to review the Sonic Youth show Monday night at the Variety Playhouse. I was a bit skeptical that I could accomplish this at first due to the fact that I realized their is no way I could cover them properly since I belong to a younger generation of music fans and have not followed them for very long. In fact I am most familiar with their most recent album, The Eternal that was just released this year. I soon realized that this line of thinking was complete nonsense. That’s an elitist viewpoint. Also, who better to report on a band such as Sonic Youth than a complete noob? If they are able to impress me then that will show how incredible they actually are. So this review is for people like me, who aren’t familiar with 28 years of Sonic Youth records and live shows.

After arriving at Clint’s house and discussing the supposed $12 abortions that are available in California we quickly headed to Wendy’s. (BTW, We decided that if that’s true we need a mass exodus to California. That’s cheaper than condoms, pills, or moving to Mexico). After fucking with the Wendy’s girl (talking super slow and acting really surprised they had change for my 20) we headed to the Variety Playhouse in order to get there ten or fifteen minutes before the doors open. This would assure us a bad ass up front spot. To our absolute fucking chagrin there was a line of at least 60 people that went all the way past El Myr. Despite the bullshit of the situation we ended up very front stage right, which Clint informed me would be Lee Ranaldo’s side. As we waited we ended up talking to several die-hard fans. It turned out one kid has the same Radiohead tattoo as me and we had met before. I noticed some kids next to us bitching about how the set list would be comprised of mainly newer songs. I noticed them later rocking out harder than anyone to the very songs they were bitching about.

The Entrance Band opened up and despite their name they were actually pretty good. Their female bassist was the highlight for me.

Everything she played sounded right off of a Rage Against the Machine CD, but in a good way. I kept thinking the words “hippie” and “grunge” during their set. That seemed to best classify what I was hearing.

After a brief set from them it was time for Sonic Youth to come on.

I was expecting a four piece to hit the stage, but was surprised by a fifth member, Mark Ibold, who plays bass. I was familiar with him as the bassist for Pavement. He did a really good job yet it was obvious which members have been touring together for the longest.

Their set was almost entirely comprised of songs off of The Eternal. The songs “Anti-Orgasm”, “Antenna”, “What We Know”, and “Massage The History” stuck out as the best songs from The Eternal.


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Live Videos: Deerhunter, Times New Viking (Halloween)


Deerhunter

Here are some videos of the Halloween show at the Variety Playhouse. These two bands were great, but Pylon and Jay Reatard were excruciating to get through and wore me out by the time Deerhunter blasted through a Microcastle-heavy set. I’ve found myself really enjoying the addition of Whitney Petty to the line-up live. Now that Bradford is all business on stage and dropped his antics, her goofy, quirky persona is literally the side-show off by herself while everyone else is busy shoegazing. I’m still not in total love with Times New Viking like some, but they are pretty damn good. See all of Clint Miller’s photos from the show here.

Times New Viking:

Deerhunter:


Times New Viking

Photos: Holy Fuck, The Fiery Furnaces, Super Furry Animals on 1-30-08 @ Variety Playhouse in Atlanta, GA

Holy Fuck

The Fiery Furnaces

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Photos and Video: Yo La Tengo, Kurt Wagner- 1-12-08 at The Variety Playhouse in Atlanta, GA

Yo La Tengo

“Tom Courtenay”

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Photos: Black Lips, Deerhunter, Snowden, The Selmanaires – 11-30-07 @ Variety Playhouse in Atlanta, GA

The Selmanaires

Snowden

Deerhunter

Black Lips

Live Review: Blonde Redhead, Annuals (5-4-2007) Variety Playhouse

Last Friday night I celebrated being done with finals by catching this. We got there at ticket time and it was already fairly packed. Annuals came on first, and I would describe them as a poor man’s Arcade Fire with almost a jamband tinge to the sound. The front man, Adam Baker, looked like he was on mushrooms or something. The six-piece featured 2 full drum sets, a pair of drums for the lead guitarist, and even Adam Baker himself had a drum to beat on from time to time. Overall, the total sound seemed to be a little too schizophrenic for me; it seemed like people’s parts didn’t really blend together well. They were great for an opener, but I doubt that I would exert a ton of effort to go see them again. Here’s some pics from my phone:

Between the two bands, the Variety Playhouse actually dropped the curtains in front of the stage, which almost never happens. When the curtains opened, Blonde Redhead brought it full blast. The lighting they employed was really cool because it was so subtle and created a an interesting light “aura” for the band. Musically, it was hard for me to make out the vocals often times in the front where i was, but other than that, I was very impressed. The set was heavy on songs from 23, but I’ve actually been digging on that album the more I listen to it. I know it’s not quite as adventurous as their best work, but if you can overlook that, there’s some amazing material on it. The three-piece was spaced out far away from each other and they seemed to have a confident yet awkward stage presence, with guitarists Kazu Makino and Amedeo Pace pseudo-flirting with each other as they jammed out and watching drummer Simone Pace’s facial expressions were hilarious as he would get really into some entrancing rhythms. Kazu even had an enormous stuffed horse to sit on when playing keys. Overall, my first Blonde Redhead show was everything i hoped it would be.

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